“Life is queer with it’s twists and turns, as everyone of us sometimes learns” ~Excerpt from Don’t Quit The 2nd trimester was everything that everyone said it would be. I felt like myself again and I truly enjoyed every minute … Continue reading
Week 19: Health
I am 3 weeks behind and need to play catch-up. Stand by!
I unknowingly took my health for granted for most of my life and I never considered the fact that it wouldn’t be there. In fact, I naively thought that I wouldn’t have any real health issues until I was retired, on social security, and could no longer cover up my grey hair with dye. Well once again, I was completely wrong about that.
I will never forget the Summer of 2009 when I started to just feel weird in my stomach. Something just wasn’t right. I wasn’t sure if it was dairy or if it was something else so I tried to change my diet and yet it still wasn’t working. I went to see a doctor who made me think I was crazy when he told me to take up yoga and see a therapist so I could manage my stress better. I knew something wasn’t right, but yet I didn’t know how to get it fixed.
It wasn’t until over a year later and several misdiagnosis that I found out that I had Crohn’s Disease. I will never forget that call the day before Thanksgiving in 2010. I was so relieved to know that something was wrong and that I wasn’t crazy. I also knew that once the problem was identified that we could get to solving it. The following year, I spent a lot of time in and out of the hospital and ended the year having surgery. The doctors said that I had a good chance of needing the surgery again within 5 years and well, it’s been 5 years and I am happy, healthy, and not on any medication. There are still good days and bad days, but the good days definitely outweigh the bad and make me more thankful for my health, my family, my friends, and most of all the power of prayer.
I often think back on that time as one of the worst periods in my life, but I am so thankful that I was able to see and learn so many things about myself and others that have stuck with me as I continue to grow and mature.
Explaining it all,
Charlitta
Week 18: The Weather Growing up I loved to chant April Showers Bring May Flowers. I loved saying it because it always made me happy and excited about my birthday month. I knew that everything was being prepared for me to … Continue reading
Week 16: Simple Things in Life Privileged is not a word that I would have ever used to describe myself. I think it’s because I have never really had a conversation just about privilege. It is usually looped into conversations … Continue reading
Week 15: Things You Like About Spring
I had to take a break from the gratitude challenge last week, but I am very committed to seeing this challenge to the end so I am picking it back up at Week 15. I love this topic. It is simple and yet meaningful and timely as I think about finding reasons to be grateful in this season of life. Spring is my favorite season. The sun is out longer, people come out from winter hibernation, and summer beach trips start to be planned. There is so many fun things to look forward to during this time period including my wedding anniversary and birthday! It’s just a fun time of year.
Spring is a time of renewal and rebirth. It’s almost like another New Year. There’s a certain sense of hope that comes with the spring season. The flowers are blooming and birds are chirping. Everything starts to look brighter and feel more alive. Well that’s outdoors…indoors people are getting organized and doing deep cleans all over their homes. I just love the fresh clean smell of a nice deep cleaned house!
This spring I am going to focus on Ecclesiastes 3. It is an excellent spring time scripture as it reminds me that everything happens in due time and in the right season of your life.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Explaining it all,
Charlitta
Week 13: A Challenge You Have Overcome
When I think about the various challenges in my life it is hard to come up with the biggest because when you are going through the challenge it seems so huge and maybe even impossible. Even if you know other people who have gone through a similar challenge, you look around and wonder how you could ever make it through. I think the biggest and hardest challenge that I had to overcome was getting a divorce. I don’t think the act of the divorce itself was the challenge, but it was really getting over myself. I had to get over what people thought about me (or what I thought they thought about me), my own insecurities or feelings of failure, and really “do the work” to not become bitter (work=therapy).
When I reflect back to 2008-2009 I realize that I was doing everything that I thought was supposed to when I accepted the proposal and moved forward with the wedding. I knew that it wasn’t right, but I wasn’t strong enough to call it off out of fear of what others would say or think of me. I convinced myself that relationships were hard and so I needed to try harder and all of the problems we faced were because of me. However, even through all of that convincing, it still didn’t feel right, but I kept on with the plan.
Once I got over myself and out of my own way, I realized that your close circle of family and friends just want you to be happy, healthy, and safe. They weren’t sitting around judging me and making me feel like a failure. They just wanted to love me through it and for that I am forever grateful. (Shame on me for ever thinking that would happen anyway).
I am grateful that I have family that prayed for me, a mother that called me every day to remind me that I was going to be just fine, friends that had a divorce party for me, and a manager at work that told me it was okay to take time off if I needed it. I can also NOW say I am grateful for that relationship because it taught me how to love and appreciate the amazing man that I am married to now. I think I would have continued to take our love and friendship for granted if I had not experienced the relationship with my ex.
It’s so hard to see the light, the lesson, or the love when you are in the midst of the challenge, but I am really proud of myself for having the strength to move out of my own way and to learn to trust my instincts. If it doesn’t feel right, then it’s not.
Explaining it all,
Charlitta
Week 12: Your favorite personality trait
Sometimes I am so hard on myself. I always think there is something else that I should be doing or changing about myself. This challenge is really allowing me to focus on being thankful about so many different things in my life that I would normally take for granted. 12 weeks in and I feel that I am truly moving toward being present and content in my life which was one of my goals for this year.
This week’s challenge is to talk about my favorite personality trait. I researched the various personality traits because this prompt initially reminded me of 5 things I like about me challenge from Week 9. I learned that there are 5 Big personality traits that are known as O.C.E.A.N. which represents Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, Neuroticism. After researching this, I realized why I thought this was so redundant…what I like most about myself is also my favorite personality trait(s).
As a Gemini, I give myself the privilege of having 2 favorites which are Extraversion and Conscientiousness. In regards to Extraversion, I love my big personality that is full of life, energy, and positivity. I love the fact that I can connect with most people and strike up a conversation with a stranger. I also relate to the Conscientiousness trait because I am able to organize and mobilize people and develop achievable plans for everyone to move forward to a common goal. I am responsible and can usually be counted on in a pinch to go the extra mile to get it done. I used to try to down play my work ethic, but now I don’t even try to hide it.
I am grateful that I am learning to embrace my big personality and taking care of business attitude.
Explaining it all,
Charlitta
Week 11: Someone who inspires youin·spi·ra·tion
ˌinspəˈrāSH(ə)n/
noun
Wife. Mother. Advocate. Career Counselor. Leader. Mentor. Friend. are just a few of the words that I would use to describe the person who inspires me professionally and personally. She is a strong woman with a voice and a perspective and she is not afraid to use it. I am grateful to have her in my corner at work and in my life. She is a wife and a mother of 2 who is navigating and figuring out how to thrive in her career and at home. She is making it work…her way. Her drive to manage it all and look good doing it gives me the confidence and hope that I can do it one day too.
There are tons of memories that we have shared together from traveling to CA for the Florida State Championship, spending a night in my house during crazy project times, and her willingness to be a ceremony reader in our wedding. However, the one memory that stands out to me the most is when I was going through my divorce. She was so kind to me as a manager and made it a point to make sure I understood that I have to make sure that I take care of my emotional and mental health first before I could be of any value to my team or my clients. She shared with me her own story of how she dealt with similar challenges in her life. In fact, she inspired me to be comfortable and transparent enough to share my journey to happiness through my blog.
In addition to the memories that we share, I love the “controversial” conversations that we are able to have together. They range from everything, y’all. Politics, Religion, TV shows, and Race. You name it and we will talk about it. We may not always agree, but somehow we always find common ground. I love that we help each other become a little more aware about things that are happening in the world and in our own communities. Maybe we should start a podcast?
I am sure we all have plenty of bosses or leaders in our respective organizations, but it takes a special person to stretch beyond that skill and truly care about you developing as a person. I am thankful that while I am still trying to figure out the next steps in my career and my personal life that I have someone in my life that cares about them both and willing to talk about it with me whenever it crosses my mind (basically every day).
Dondi-I am grateful to have you in my life as mentor, friend, and a career counselor. Thank you for always pushing me to be #greaterthan and to #bethechange that I want to see in the world. I appreciate you!
Explaining it all,
Charlitta
Week 10: List 5 Things You Like About You This week’s blog post prompt caused me a little bit of angst as I started to reflect on the things I like the most about my myself. I realized that I … Continue reading
I am delayed in my posting, but there is a rationale behind the delay. (Thank you to those of you that prodded me today to make sure that I am still grateful 2 months in!) This week we are free-styling our grateful posts and I feel so happy that today is the 1st day of Women’s History Month and it comes on the heels of yesterday which was the last day of Black History Month. I am grateful to be a Black Woman in 2016. Lord knows that this dog-fearing, allergy shot injecting, asthma inhaling, screwed up GI system, 4 eyed girl would not have made it in any other time.
I have always been proud and never ashamed to be a black woman. I feel empowered, strong, and capable. I feel equal and often times greater than. And before you bash me, I am not naive…I know that some (most) don’t view me the same as I view myself, but I am thankful that I do not care because I am comfortable and confident in my own skin.
As I reflect on all of the discussions regarding racial injustices and gender disparities, I am inspired to be someone who can help to make small changes that one day will be seen as huge and remarkable. I am glad that this is my fight and that I have the courage to fight it my way. I consider myself an advocate for a wide range of issues, but they can all be summarized in the following categories: the advancement of African-Americans, gender equality, and the quality of life and education for children. I have realized that the way I approach advocacy make look different from others and that’s okay.
I have always had a passion for advancing African-American and women in corporate America. I believe that I need to be in a position to help the advancement and have a voice at the table. I am grateful that I work for a company that believes that “transparency builds trust” and is willing to be transparent about the demographics of our workforce. By doing that it allows us to clearly see the problem so we can work together to solve it. Through this experience I am learning to shape my perspective, channel my voice and passion, and still hold true to my beliefs.
It is time that we accept that everyone has a role to play fighting injustices and stop judging the way people approach their advocacy. Let’s applaud the roles people want to play to make incremental changes in our communities. I urge each of you to find what you are passionate about and let your voice be heard.
Today I am grateful to be a black woman.
Explaining it all,
Charlitta
Charlitta Explains It All 